Revy vs. Lara
Revy vs. Lara is a What-If One Minute Melee featuring Revy from Black Lagoon and Lara Croft from Tomb Raider. It is also John1Thousand’s Thirty-Second Episode of One Minute Melee. Interlude ONE MINUTE MELEE! WHERE ALL THE FIGHTS ARE SETTLED IN 60 SECONDS! 2 FIGHTERS! NO RESEARCH! 60 SECONDS! MELEE! PRESS START! SELECT YOUR CHARACTER! (PLAYER ONE CHOOSES Revy.) (PLAYER TWO CHOOSES Lara Croft.) LET'S ROCK? Alrighty! / Uh, one sec... (Alrighty! selected.) Introduction In an ancient ruin, Lara Croft swung into the treasure room as she found a golden monkey statue that was needed to prevent a series of robberies by cartels. However, before she could grab ahold of the statue, an RPG struck the ground almost obliterating her into the pieces. Lara: What the?! Lara grabbed her pistol and shot in the direction of the rocket, which resulted in the next one being destroyed. Revy then jumped and rolled towards Lara Croft as she pulled her Cutlass and shot. Revy: This will make a great amount of money on the side. THE BATTLE OF THE GUNSLINGERS!!! FIGHT!!!! Melee (Cues Mell - Red Fraction (Black Lagoon OP)) 60 The two were exchanging pistol blows however, Revy's Beretta's had an edge as Lara took cover. She took out her semi-automatic pistols. However, before she could open fire, Lara hears a thud as Revy lands on the ground and gets close to Lara. When the timing was just right, Croft opened fire, but as soon as the magazine was emptied there was not a scratch on Revy much to Lara's shock. Revy: How pitiful?! 53 Revy then punches Lara into the shrine and shoots her body several times. A smile takes over Revy's face as she grabs her grenade launcher and shoots one at a wounded Lara Croft. Revy: On to the main event! The grenade explodes causing the ancient structure to collapse as Lara Croft fell to what Revy assumed was her death. Revy: That was not even funny. 45 However unknown to Revy was that Lara had grabbed a hold of part of the structure with a grappling hook and was climbing up. As soon as Revy was about to pack the artifact and leave. Lara Croft landed ou her feet and pinned her bag with the artifact onto the stone slab with an arrow. Revy: You should be dead. Lara: Call me lucky. Revy: You brought a bow to a gunfight. You are a stupid dumbass! Lara: Keep telling yourself that. 35 Revy then pulls out her submachine and shot several bullets. Despite being hit several times by bullets Lara was able to shoot an explosive arrow into the barrel of her submachine gun. With the beeping of the arrow, Revy's machine gun explodes as Revy was knocked down into the ground. Lara: Ahhh! Revy was then blitzed by Lara as she swung her sword slamming Revy to the ground. Before she gets sliced in half, Revy rolled out of the way from the sword. 26 Revy then grabs her sniper rifle and shot her through Lara's side sending her to the ground. Revy then got up and put her sniper rifle on Lara's head. Revy: Now die!!! Lara: No! Lara grabbed her knife at the last second and stabbed Revy causing her to stagger backward. Before Revy could fire back at Lara Croft her sniper rifle was sliced in half by the sword. Lara then taunted Revy as she had her knife out again and was ready for Revy to charge at her. 14 Revy then lit a cigarette and put it in her mouth before taunting Lara. Revy: I am going to enjoy this! Lara: There will be more smoke in hell! Revy: Your last moments with me will be a living hell b****! Revy then charges at Lara who stands on the defensive. Lara Croft tries to get the killing shot but was disarmed by Revy as she punches the Tomb Raider several times before sending her into the ruins. 6 Lara Croft then had a hard time getting up as Revy took her time to pull out her two Beretta M92's and was ready to aim at her. Revy: Time for target practice! However, Revy was then wrapped around by a grappling hook as she was yanked forward. 2 As Revy moved, Lara then grabbed hep pistol as she shot the surprised Revy once in the head. K.O. Lara then got up slowly as she was covered in the blood of Revy. Lara Croft walked to the bag and grabbed the artifact as she slowly walks off to have her wounds healed. Lara: What a weird psycho! Results This melee's winner is... Lara Croft!!! (Cues Cradle to the Grave)